My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry

Read Together (sort of) February/March 2025

My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry

By: Fredrik Backman

Fredrik Backman, you have yet to disappoint! This book was not recommended by anyone, just on my personal TBR list. This book has two others that connect characters together, so I figured if we fell in love with some of those characters, we might not have to say goodbye at the end of this read! This was my third Fredrik Backman novel, and I'd put it up there in my second place of the three (A Man Called Ove would be my first, Anxious People would be third). We all loved it but had different takes on certain things.

Sidenote: The title of this book is long, so we all referred to the book as "The Grandmother Book" Or sometimes just, "Grandmother." 

I said above that we read this book together, but it was a little scattered. I started this one before Karyn and Heather, which was not the intention.  Heather was put on a waiting list at her library, Karyn wanted to read it on her upcoming vacation, and I just couldn't stop once I started! I paused for a little bit, but I think I read a couple of books in between, and then another while the girls were still finishing up this one. Life gets in the way of this major priority we call reading sometimes. We all thought we could finish it up quick, but this one was pretty staggered between us. I loved it so much that when I was done, I couldn't wait for the girls to finish so we could talk about it! I had borrowed the book from the library and upon finishing, I was ordering a copy to have for my personal library. But I had to wait to discuss for a couple of weeks, and in hindsight, I wish I waited to read it at the same time as my reading buddies. It definitely makes for a richer discussion when we're within days of reading, rather than weeks. Still, we all enjoyed the post chat.

The main character in this novel is a unique little girl named, Elsa. Elsa is 7 years old, but the reader is unmistakenly reminded, quite often, that she is almost 8! Elsa isn't the only "unique" attribute in this book; the story in its entirety is exceptionally unique. The element that makes this story so different is the imaginary world that seems to be in the constant background of this read. It's really almost like a character in itself. As I've said in previous posts, I don't like to give too much away, so I realize this feedback could likely be confusing (that is, if anyone other than us, and maybe our mothers, ever read this blog!). This fantasy world (in my opinion) was a genius piece of writing on its own. This was one of the things about the book that I loved. The girls definitely had an appreciation for it, but I think I was mostly solo with my favor for this particular component. Admittedly so, it did make things confusing at times. My advice would be to anyone reading this book: don't feel like you need to know, or even remember, every detail about the fantasy aspect of the story. While Backman included every detail you would need to know, if you wanted to truly understand the imagination behind the fairy tale feature, the main point is just being aware of its existence. 

The three of us had a good amount of discussion about the age of Elsa ("7, almost 8!"), and if it was realistic or believable. Elsa is very intelligent and interesting, often bullied because of it, and feels things very deeply. It seems as though she's not always well looked after, and away from adults for hours at a time. She's able to get away with skipping school, hiding in peculiar places, and talking (without problem) to most adults. The only 7 (and truly "almost 8") year old we all know, is my son. While I got into the book, I made it a point to very intentionally observe my own child to see if this character was more realistic than I may have realized. It caused me to see my son through a different lens, in a way. He's the baby (youngest of 4) and I think that can put a veil over what he's truly capable of. Elsa's character actually became a bit more believable with my observations of my son. Karyn also made the point that she's not supposed to be an ordinary little girl. Backman very intentionally builds her character to be an oddity... it's on purpose for us to wonder if Elsa and her distinctive characteristics are realistic; they're not! She is innately different; clearly contrasted from the normal 7, almost 8-year-old kid. 

By the end of the book, we had laughed, cried, and compared every single brilliantly written character to our own lives. That's what Backman does! Elsa might take the stage in this book, but the story goes so far beyond an eccentric little girl. It's a story about relationships, loss, grief, along with many various dynamics and predicaments, but they all are rooted in one very special person: Grandmother. And don't let that sweet little term of endearment fool you. If I've sold you on Elsa being unique, just wait till you meet her anomaly of a grandmother! When it came to our discussion about her, we all agreed whole heartedly that she was the best part of the whole thing! 

 Ratings to come, but for now I'll just say: We loved it! Our next Fredrik Backman book will likely be Britt-Marie Was Here. Britt-Marie is another character in "The Grandmother Book" so we're already looking forward to this one!